Just a quick note

Dearest Morgen --

I just wanted to take a quick moment to tell you how proud I am of you.  You are learning more and more every day and growing up into such a nice little person.

Here are just a few things which I adore:

• You sing "Happy Birthday" to everything.  Seriously.  Happy Birthday to ladybug cake.  Happy Birthday to finger paint.  Happy Birthday to mommy and daddy and Morgen.  And, my favorite, Happy Birthday to Play-Doh!
• You climb all around the car when we get home from school.  I back the car into the driveway and then roll all the windows down so you can lean out each one and say "I don't see mailman."
• Your love of your "new purple croc-a-lockas."
• Your love of music and dancing and that you are now starting to request the "shoop!" song (The Beatles "Come Together") instead of only "Opa Gangnam Style."
• Your excitement every morning about going to "Mo's new school."  And I have to admit, I adore that you don't want me to leave when we get there.  I don't like seeing you upset when I leave for work, but I do like the cuddles before I go and that huge smile on your face when I arrive to pick you up in the afternoons.  (I'm just as happy to see you honey!)
• The way you say "Here you go mommy!" when you hand me something.
• That you love baths, but love them even more if daddy or I join you in the tub (even if just our feet).
• That you still prefer to sleep cuddled up with me every night.  You are so peaceful when you sleep and I cannot help but marvel at the little person curled up next to me.
• That bouncing with daddy on the big blue ball is one of your favorite games.  Your laughter when you play with your daddy is one of the best sounds I have ever heard.

I'm sure I'm forgetting things.  As I write this I'm getting ready to pick you up.  I know you won't want to leave right away, so we will play on the slides or the teeter-totter.  It's going to be lots of fun.

I love you...mommy.

The Things You Say

Dearest Morgen --

You have so much to say these days!  Things like:

The "a" sound for "apple."
Ball, baby, book, bonk, baba (instead of Papa), and boob.  
Dada and doll and dog.  
Eye.  
You've tried to say "green" while pointing to a plant, and "hot" while waiting for dinner to cool.
You know that you are a good girl and you often call Fraggle a good girl, even though we know she misbehaves quite a bit.
You're learning to say light.  
There's more and mouth. 
There's Nana and no (usually said as "no no").

You also know the sounds that elephants, monkeys, puppies, and snakes make.

There are times when you whisper in my ear, telling me the most elaborate stories.  Soon words will replace the sounds and inflections and I can only imagine the fun we will have then.

And while all those words are wonderful, there's nothing better than coming home after a long day and hearing you say "Mama" while running to give me a big hug.

I love you.

xoxo....mommy.

Amazing

My darling Morgen --


I bring my laptop to the office with me so I can listen to music while I work.  It also serves as a digital photo frame, in a sense, because I have the screen saver set up to display pictures.  It's just a nice thing to have because all day long I see pictures of you, Sonne, Daddy, the puppies, and places we have been and the family and friends we know and love.


As the pictures go by, I'm astounded at how much you have changed in just one year.  You were so tiny, so fragile.  Then you grew.  You put on baby fat and grew even cuter.  Then you started to hold up your head, roll over, sit up on your own.  Now you're crawling all over the place, pulling yourself up to stand, and I'm sure that in no time you'll be walking (probably running).


It's just amazing to watch and we so love watching you.


xoxo...Mommy.

Being Your Mommy

Dearest Morgen --


I am so lucky to be your mommy.


I love watching you explore your world.  You are starting to experience things on your own and it is wonderful.  And still, when you need comfort, you come back to me.


Right now you are sitting on the floor playing with the Baby Bjorn.  Yesterday you managed to remove the "do not remove" tag.  Today I think you are trying to figure out what each strap and button is used for.  There are holes on two of the straps.  You know they have a purpose, but what could that purpose be?  If any baby can figure it out, I know it will be you.


You just paused to smile at me and make a few baby sounds.


I love you so much.


Yesterday your daddy and I took you swimming for the first time.  You sat in your floater and kicked your legs almost the entire time.  We "swam" around the pool with you kicking and splashing all around. Afterwards you fell asleep in my arms poolside.  What a perfect way to spend your 11th month-iversary!


You are growing up so quickly.  I can hardly believe we will be celebrating your birthday a month from now.  Family and friends will be gathered to celebrate you.  It's not going to be an easy time for your daddy or me as we will be missing your sister.  I hope you know, that despite our sadness over the loss of Sonne, we love you and love watching you grow and change.


We absolutely love the person you are becoming.  So inquisitive.  So cuddly.  So unique and wonderful and special.


And, while your birthday will be a special day, know that we celebrate you everyday.  Just being with you is a celebration -- of life, of wonder, of love.


We love you.


xoxo...Mommy.

Our Trip Together

Hello meine Kekse --


What a lovely weekend we spent together as a family.  You were such a good traveller, taking the sights and sounds and experiences in stride.  Four plane trips in three days.  Two long car trips from the Little Rock airport to Hot Springs Village and back.  Countless strangers cooing over you.


I loved how excited you were when you first met your great grandmother.  Smiling and belly laughing for her in ways we had never before witnessed.  When I spoke to her this morning she remarked that you two have a special connection.  I think she's probably right.  


Your daddy and I loved watching you crawl for the first time in GGMa's apartment.  You didn't go very far, but you did it!  It seems you embraced tummy time and rolling finally while visiting Arkansas.  I couldn't believe my eyes as we watched you roll all over her floor.


I had such fun playing with you on Sunday afternoon in our little rental.  Daddy was sleeping and we sat on the floor in the front room.  You were rollings and pushing yourself along the laminate floor trying to catch your cups as I rolled them along.  It was a simply game, but those are often the best.


It was sad leaving GGMa's on Monday.  I hope we will be able to visit her again.  She's quite elderly now and her body causes her a lot of pain, but her mind is quick witted and her spirit still shines.  She thanked us so many times for bringing you to visit and, while I know it was a very special time for her, it was just as special for me.  For me, it was important to introduce you and your daddy to her.  I've probably only had a handful of visits with her over the years, but she is important.  She holds the story of your Nana's story within her.  She has been around for nearly a century and seen so many changes in our world.  She grew up during simpler times and she has a wisdom about her that I hope to one day command.  I hope you will take more time than I to visit with your grandparents when you are older.  They have stories to tell and experiences to share.


Your daddy said that a piece of the puzzle that is me was filled in for him during this visit.  I'm happy to know that he was moved by our trip and thrilled he feels a little closer to me as a result.


For you, while I don't expect you will remember the trip itself, I hope some part of the experience will leave a lasting impression on your person.  Even if that lasting impression simply encourages you to laugh even when you are hurting.

Well Hello!!

My darling Morgen --


I miss you terribly while I am away at work, but I so love coming home to you!  Lately you have had so much to say -- cooing and oohing and aahing.  It's just wonderful to listen to you and watch you try to form your first words.


I love having you reach out your arms to me when I walk up to you.


I love having you give me "kisses."


I love playing our little monkey-see, monkey-do game of imitation.


Simply put...I love you.


xoxo...Mommy

Little Amazing You

Hi Honey!

I'm at work and thinking about you.  You have been changing so much over the past few weeks.  It's incredible!

You're sitting up, albeit with a little help.  You have become incredibly talkative -- we can hardly wait for you to have words!  You are so busy exploring your world with your hands, feet, and mouth!  You are just amazing to watch!

We so enjoyed your first Christmas.  I think you may have been a bit overwhelmed by it all and that's okay.  There was so much activity!  And you got to try a new food -- sweet potatoes!  You seemed to really enjoy them which is great because they are very good for you.  :)

We took you sailing on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas).  You did a lot of sleeping and snacking, but we think you enjoyed being on the boat.  You certainly looked cool in your sunglasses.  Daddy and I look forward to more sailing trips and teaching you all about boats (sail and motor).

We love you endlessly, little one.  You bring us such joy it is indescribable.  Your smile brightens our lives and cuddling with you is possibly the best thing we do on any given day.  And while we miss your sister terribly, you help us heal and remember her and imagine what she would be like right now.  For that we are so grateful.  We have two angels in our lives -- one for us to watch over and one watching over us.

I hope you're having a good day today sweetie.  I cannot stop thinking about you and can hardly wait to get home to you this evening.

Love you!!!

xoxo...Mommy

Hi Cutie

Hi Cutie!

Oh how I'm missing you!  Being back at work is tough for your mommy.  I'm busy and that's good, but I think about you constantly and wonder what you're doing. 

Did you and Judith go for a walk today?  Did you read books?  Did you play some more in the jungle?

My work day is winding down to an end and I cannot wait to get home to you. 

It seems that you are very attuned to the sun.  When it is up, you seem to be very active and engaged.  But when it goes down, you are quick to fall asleep and will generally stay asleep until morning with only a few moments of awakedness to eat or get a fresh diaper.

It gets dark so early this time of year. It's been very dark for nearly an hour now.  I hope you'll be able to wake up and play with me for at least a few minutes.  If not, we'll cuddle and you can snack and then sleep in my arms.

The good news is that tomorrow is Friday.  That means Daddy and I only have one more day of work before we get to spend the weekend with you.

We love you!

xoxo...Mommy

Today...

Hi my little Pumpkin Muffin,


I heard you were a brave baby girl at the doctor today and only cried for a minute when getting your shots. I'm sorry I wasn't there to cuddle you afterwards, but I know that daddy took good care of you and made you feel better.  Just know that I was thinking about you all day long.


I love you.


Mommy.

Memorizing Morgen

My dearest Morgen -

Once again you are asleep in your swing.  You look so peaceful.

As I sit here writing this I'm stealing glances at you and trying to memorize this moment in time; the occasional coo, your hands resting gently on your tummy, the sudden and short-lived flinch that raises your hands into the air only to slowly float down to rest once again on your tummy, your pudgy toes begging to be squeezed.

Tomorrow I go back to work.  I'm looking forward to getting back into things, but I am going to miss you terribly.  I know I've been away from you for a few hours at a time on multiple occasions, but tomorrow will be different.  Tomorrow is the start of getting back to "normal" and working my way up to being gone eight hours a day, five days a week.  If we could afford it, I would be a stay home mom because being your mom is the best things I've ever done with my life.

I'm sure you'll have fun with Judith and that she will take good care of you.  But know that I'm only a few miles away and if something happens, all Judith has to do is call and I'll come home.

You are the love of my life, sweet Morgen.

xoxo...Mommy.

Joy!

My sweet Morgen --

You've fallen asleep again while nursing.  This time you have a mouthful of breast milk which is now dribbling out of the corners of your mouth and down my side to eventually drip onto the chair.  LOL.

I love you so.

xoxo....mommy

You're Getting So Big!

Hi honey --

We just got home from your pediatrician appointment with Dr. Jeremy.  He says you look great!  He's really pleased with how you're growing and developing.  So am I.

You're rolling over from tummy to back.  Not every time, but you've done it a few times for me now and I imagine you'll be doing it more and more often as the days go on.  Before we know it you'll be rolling over from back to front and crawling.  Oh my!  I cannot wait for you to start crawling.

You weighed 11.5 pounds today.  I think you might weigh a little more than that, but I'm not going to have an argument with his scale again.  You are 22.5" long and your head circumference is 15-7/8".  Oh you are getting so big!!

And yet you are still my little cuddle monkey.

You're sleeping in your swing at the moment.  I think I'm going to head off to the gym.  I have some pent up frustration that I need to channel into something positive.  I'm hoping there is a cuddle session for us this afternoon.

I love you!

Mommy.

So Many Changes

Hi honey!


You are changing so much every day.  The changes are subtle, but both your daddy and I see them.


You rolled over for the first time last week.  Tuesday, September 6th to be exact.  Your father witnessed it. You have yet to demonstrate these skills for me.  Unless of course you count gravity helping you roll over on the bed after our nap yesterday afternoon.  Yeah...I didn't think so either.  But you are getting close to doing it again.  I think any day now you'll be rolling over regularly.


You have so much more to say these days.  So many coos and squeaks.  We can't get enough of these!  And you are so busy looking everywhere!  I think you are ready to see what this world has to offer.


Today you grabbed hold of a rattle while we were out running errands.  You didn't shake it around, but you did grab hold and you wouldn't let go for a good five minutes.  That's a first!


We are debating whether or not you have begun teething.  You dad thinks so, but I'm not convinced.  Sure, you're drooling a bunch and you seem to really enjoy chomping on your fist, but I think you've just discovered that that fist belongs to you and, "Hey! Look how well it fits in my mouth!"  One of these days I'll check to see if I feel any numbs along your gums and, if I think I do, I'll have Dr. Jeremy confirm next week.  :)


It's hard to believe that I'll be back at work in a little over two weeks.  Part of me wants to be back now so I can be busy, but the other part of me (the smart 99%) wants to stay home with you forever.  I don't want to miss out on a thing!  Alas, I don't have that luxury, but at least the office is close to home.  Once I'm back full time, I'll be able to visit you for lunch.  And with any luck I'll be able to get back to work slowly -- perhaps five hours in office and three from home to start.  We shall see what my boss says later this week.


Tomorrow Oma and Opa are coming to spend the day with you.  I'm taking Judith to Disneyland.  I think you will love Disneyland when you're older, but you're a little too young for it right now.  I'd like you to spend some extra time cuddling them, okay?  They could use it.


And hey!  Look at you now!  Nursing away like the snacktastic baby you are -- I guess some things don't change.  You are going to be so big so soon!


I love you muffin.


xoxo...Mom

meine Morgen

My dearest Morgen --

As I write this you are sleeping soundly in your swing.  Peaceful.  Growing!  Unaware of what today will bring.

Your father and I are all too aware of the day's activity.  Your sister's memorial service.  We are celebrating her all too short life.  We will be surrounded by family and friends.  Many are not able to attend but will be with us in spirit, taking the time to think of Sonne at 1 o'clock this afternoon.  It is to be a day of celebration, but I know it will be tinged with sorrow.  Tears for a sweet girl who passed away far too soon.

One day we will have to explain to you what happened and help you understand why your sister is not here.  I only hope that by that day we have an idea of what to say to you.

Today will be hard for us, but we will be holding you close and we will get strength from you.

We love you dearly, little Morgen.

xoxo...Mom